Dishevelled Stars

Albuquerque, New Mexico

2010-08-11T23:11:00.000-05:00

I'm in Albuquerque this week for work. I got to spend a few hours today walking around Old Town and fawning over turquoise rings and wrist cuffs. Despite there being 50% off signs in almost every tourist and jewelry shop window, I held my resolve and did not buy one, (although it makes me a little sad to say so).

I had forgotten how much I loved being surrounded by mountains. It makes me miss Ft. Huachuca, Arizona, and think about one day moving to Santa Fe or Denver. I'm not sure if I can blame being a military brat or wanderlust (or both) for never being able to visualize staying in one place for more than a few years.

Ex-Lover Countdown

2010-08-09T19:43:00.000-05:00

Do you remember when we were in love?

by J.W. Baz

There is an old mayonnaise jar hiding under my bed,

every day I shove bad memories down its throat

like my own personal museum of things I can't

bring myself to forget yet.

It is brimming with words I wish I could force

back into my mouth, the taste of playground gravel,

the smell of police station coffee

that wedding

the ride from the hospital

the lens flare a gun barrel casts in the sun

dodgeballs (lots of dodgeballs)

and of course, romance gone the way of the goldfish

I like to keep ex-lovers toward the outisde

of the jar. I watch them as they press their faces

against the glass and beat their tiny fists upon the wall.

Sometimes when I'm sure no one is looking,

I roll the jar inside my palm and play a game I like to call

Ex-Lover Countdown.

Number 10

If you didn't know better, you'd have thought I took out a personal ad:

Single white male, 21, relatively attractive, enjoys poetry; seeks female

willing to treat him like shit within the confines of a terminal, largely

sexless relationship built on grain alcohol and guilt.

Number 9

I had to stop and ask myself: Is it a bad sign

when you visit her apartment for the first time

and there is a pregnancy test on the top of the trash?

Dear Number 8,

I went looking for your passport

Found another man's underwear

I hope your baby gets lupus.

Number 7 showed me that when I put her on a pedestal,

it was really easy for her to kick me in the face

Number 7(a)

When she said, "Remember when I slept with your best friend?"

I wish I had something more witty to say than,

I'm sorry you did what?

Number 6 had a problem with silence, so she talked

the way she smoked, end-to-end, rambling

for hours about absolutely nothing, stopping

only to light another cigarette. When she ran

out of cigarettes he'd turn the stereo up or burst

into tears while we kissed. it was here I learned

that I do not have a thing for crazy girls,

crazy girls have a thing for me.

Her stomach was as smooth as apple skin.

Just before dawn I would graze it with the back of my hand

and roll from her tiny bed. I'd get dressed hastily in the dark,

desperate not to rouse her though I knew she was not sleeping

I wonder now what might have been if I had stayed

until the sun wedged its way past the drapes;

would we have found our silence then?

Just before I gave my virginity to the first

available bidder, Number 5 put on a Rusted Root album.

We writhed together like two savage, suburban warriors

in the dense thicket of the school parking lot

I gather Number 4 mistook me for some sort of superhero,

the machine she employed to grind out this town, steal her

from a fire escape and fly away.

She had a habit of tossing her problems out the window

presuming I'd swoop down and catch them. She soon had a pile

in the alley; the neighbors had begun to notice.

I must have been afraid of heights back then.

Number 3

[with a bullet]

I had a premonition about her once; I've been gun-shot

and I'm bleeding, crimson staining white sheets, spreading

the way afternoon sun soaks the bedroom. She's trembling,

but accomplished. She looks forward to missing me.

The end is nigh and I'm staring at the ceiling, counting

flecks of nicotine embroidered in the paint, the same crack

I gazed into when we pretended f*cking

was more than just a virus befalling us.

Number 2, I'm sorry.

Number 1, for a record 86 straight weeks,

is you, curator of this museum.

Do you remember when we were in love?

Does the thought of it still glare at you

from across the room, tapping its foot impatiently?

Do you remember kitchens at dawn, running

from exploding cabs, diving teeth-first into frost-bitten sheets

because the heat never worked?

We were some kind of adventure.

All of this has been for you.

I've seen under the marquee where we used to meet

on Saturdays; the same pink scarf knotted around your neck

same valances of midnight strewn about your face.

Still a quiet exuberance in the way you lean in,

arms and elbows, with a new lover

kissing like the war just ended.

I'm glad you found your sailor while I was lost

at sea, how appealing memory lane can be

when you never look down.

Toppling Towers

2010-08-07T23:38:00.000-05:00

I've been on the hunt for affordable (read: super cheap and super steals) clothes that I can wear to work this year. I'm not quite sure if these sparkle espadrille wedges were wholly justifiable, but I loved that they are fun with an air of elegance, and that the espadrilles make them daytime appropriate but the shimmer of the fabric can make them work for a casual night. I found this skirt at SoLa a couple weeks ago when they marked down everything in the store that was from the summer stock.

Lennon comes back from being gone on tour for over two months, but only for a quick visit and to dog and apartment sit for me while I go to a conference in Albuquerque next week. I'm not excited to fly - my dad was a pilot, but somehow I was born terrified of flying, (well, technically of crashing). After I get back Lennon is moving to Dallas and my program year sets into full gear. I hope the year is busy and wonderful and fun and if the grant cycle isn't renewed next year, I hope the principal hires me as a teacher on campus for 2011-2012. I can't believe how much I miss teaching. I can't believe I'd contemplate having to wake up at 5:30 A.M. every day again.

This is the outfit I wore in Arkansas to go out to dinner for my grandmother's birthday, but I also wore these shoes to go out last night to downtown. I love The Ginger Man pub, because I love beer, and I love being able to make the call that a beer is too hoppy or too citrusy, or some other distinction. For years I'd aspired to be a wine connoisseur, but I don't think that's in my cards anymore. I'm certain I'll be a full fledged beer snob in a matter of years. Luckily, I didn't stumble in these shoes while walking around downtown Austin at 2 A.M. I actually think that two pints in, the fluidity of my ability to walk in an extra four inches improved, sort of like my Spanish skills. Tonight was swimming, movie, and dinner with my friend Elizabeth, and the fact that I fell asleep on her couch is probably indicative I should be going to sleep now.

Under Your Spell

2010-08-05T19:39:00.000-05:00

It's 7:30pm, my balcony door is open and the star curtains are blowing up and out but the air coming in is hot hot hot and makes the room even hotter. But I don't really care - I feel trapped with the door closed. My iPod is on random and this song by the Smashing Pumpkins is playing. One time I went to Little Rock to visit my grandmother and a boy who played this song in his car over and over and over and over that weekend, so now every time I hear it I think of those few days, the sun when it's golden, and this song on repeat. I always wanted to think he was playing it for me.

I'm devising my fall program schedule for girls in 6th-10th grade, and it's still amazing to think I get to pick what extra-curricular clubs to offer. In high school, I was a member of at least fifteen clubs - I'm perpetually interested in everything (but never fully invested in anything). So far, I'm settled on:

Girls Rock Camp
Film Making
Model United Nations
Cooking
Photography
Sewing
Roller Derby (Derby Brats)
Taekwondo
Theatre
Yoga
Science via a Sea World grant program
Girls Sports League

plus a few mandatory things like leadership development programs, technology, and similar concepts. I can have five classes a day, and since this is the last year of the grant cycle, I don't have as much money to spend as I did last year, so I've got to pick some lower budget programs.

When you were in school, what was your favorite club or after school activity?

Holla! Prop 8 Overturned!

2010-08-04T20:01:00.000-05:00

Read all about it!

Tamara Lichtenstein: Sparkly Cornfields

2010-08-03T20:03:00.000-05:00

I'm not going to run out and get a Tumblr, but maybe I should break down and start collecting the photos I find pretty and inspiring instead of wishing I knew how they did that. Aya over at Strawberry Koi posted a few of these Tamara Lichtenstein pictures, and I ended up sitting for an hour browsing through her entire photo portfolio afterwards. I love how most of them look like snap shots that ended up being beautiful happy accidents.

And I have to post this last one simply because I own this dress. But I do not look like that in it. I'm going through a hopefully short lived phase where I hate everything in my closet I've owned for longer than a few months. Most of it I've either shrunk or let wrinkle beyond recognition. I've spent today and will spend tomorrow and most of next week in professional conferences, and I'm tearing through my closet to find clothes that aren't sloppy. It makes me want to shop, but I know new clothes would look the same as the old ones after a washing. Verdict: I need an iron.

Tired & Uninspired

2010-08-02T19:22:00.000-05:00

My summer as a teen program coordinator/counselor are over, and it's time to get ready for the school year. Since I'll be taking over the program at a new school, I'll have to reorient myself to everything - the teachers, navigating the school, resources, new program offerings, and of course, the students. I'm really excited to start but have to survive a month of trainings and meetings first, (today is the one year anniversary of my job with the Boys and Girls Club).

I have to admit in terms of writing, photographing, blogging, and even thinking, I've been inexplicably uninspired and discouraged. Fashion blogging is fun, but I feel so weird having a blog that ends up being nearly 100% dedicated to pictures of me, even if as a model, I'm second to the clothes. Maybe my internal critic is far too harsh. No one can argue, though, that clothes can completely dictate how you feel in them. A blah outfit makes me feel equally blah and want to be invisible. In wanting to amplify my current emotional state from the doldrums, I'm typing this while wearing camp shorts and Cole Haan 4" heels, (from back when I could afford the occasional pair of Cole Haan). It's actually working.

I think a lot of my lack luster enthusiasm and thinking capacity stems from a case of PMS (TMI? oh well), and the fact that rather than feeling inspiration from other bloggers, writers, artists, etc, I often get a sinking feeling of not being able to measure up - that's terrible - I know. Hopefully in a week I'll snap out of it. Regardless, I wore this dress on a movie date a while back. It was a $20 splurge from Target and I love it, except one of the straps already popped off and had to be sewn back on.

Dress: from Target
Locket: from my grandma
Shoes: Seychelles from years ago

Also, in my list of world's best music, I accidentally left off what should have been a contender for number one: The Gloria Record. I played the EP A Lull in Traffic every night while falling asleep for a year after getting it. They were an Austin band and I would pay them money to get back together, or something of value, as I don't really have money to pay them with.

The Long Shot & My Top Tens

2010-07-25T19:44:00.003-05:00

So I've taken the long shot of applying to write for Pitchfork. Probably won't happen - I do not delude myself. I consider myself a padawan in terms of music writing, but I pride myself in recognizing how much I have to learn and improve (in all things). The time I spent making my application wasn't a waste, regardless, though, as I compiled a few top-ten lists I'd like to share, (debate?). I feel like John Cusack in High Fidelity making these, although he only went to five, (slacker).

My Top 10 Albums of 2010 (no order):

1. Wintersleep: New Inheritors
2. Holly Miranda: The Magician’s Private Library
3. Free Lance Whales: Weathervanes
4. Fanfarlo EP
5. The National: High Violet
6. Quiet Company: Songs for Staying In
7. Magic Man: Real Life Color
8. Band of Horses: Infinite Arms
9. Suckers: Wild Smile
10. Good Old War: Good Old War

My Top 10 Tracks of 2010 (no order):

1. Hanna (Freelance Whales)
2. Atlas (Fanfarlo)
3. Mirror Matter (Wintersleep)
4. Sleep on Fire (Holly Miranda)
5. Daughter (Magic Man)
6. My Body (Young the Giant)
7. Martha (Suckers)
8. Totuus minusta (Regina)
9. My Own Sinking Ship (Good Old War)
10. Your Love (Keane)

My Top 10 Albums of All Recent Time:

1. The Jealous Girlfriends: The Jealous Girlfriends
2. Ludo: Broken Bride
3. The National: Boxer
4. The Get Up Kids: Something to Write Home About
5. Hot Water Music/Alkaline Trio
6. Mineral: The Power of Failing
7. Band of Horses: Our Swords
8. The Format: Interventions + Lullabies
9. The Walkmen: Everyone Who Pretended to Like Me is Gone
10. Grand Serenade: Lean Times

Let's play the High Fidelity game: do you have a top ten list of albums, bands, or tracks? I'd love to see it.

I really wanted to have pictures of The New Pornographers show from Friday night at Stubb's, but thanks to Stubb's discriminatory camera policy, I have none. I drove back from Little Rock to make it to the show by 8pm. I barely made it, (9 hour drive), had to park in way far away east Austin, had only my wallet, my camera, and a water bottle in my bag, walked the long way to Stubb's, and was turned away at the door because my camera had an interchangeable lens. Excuse me? By the time I walked back to my car, hid my camera under a seat, debated going back, decided to with coaxing via text, and walked all the way back, I'd missed The Dodo's, and was thoroughly ticked, and will probably hold a grudge against Stubb's for a long time, because that's how I roll. Luckily, Ludo will be playing at Emo's, and that's a show I might have gotten over my grudge to go see, begrudgingly.

So I leave you with the ultimate hipster video and a song I really like: Totuus minusta by Finish band Regina. Complete with bear costume, and cake. And puppets.

A Whole Week's Vacation

2010-07-20T00:01:00.000-05:00

Starting on 5 p.m. yesterday, my vacation week officially begun. I'm en route to Little Rock, but stopped in Copperas Cove to visit my dad and step-mom. They have this beautiful pool, and I'm yet to even swim in it! This will need to be rectified soon. With 100 degree temperatures like we had today, I probably have some time to make it happen. I find myself already stressing about how much I will be able to get "accomplished" over this week, and then I want to thump my head on a wall. All I want is one week without a to-do list hanging over my head, or the itch to "get ahead" on projects or article writing. Although I have a friend's wedding coming up, and I'd like to save up to afford the gas to get there - it's quite a drive from Austin, so article writing may be in the mix.

These pictures let know just how much I need to work on using a light meter properly. That, and checking when the date stamp is on - I had to crop it out of all my pictures - oops. I've had this skirt in my closet for two months but never cut the tag off till today - what was I thinking!? This may get worn everyday this week. I have an eight hour drive ahead of me, so I should probably stop posting pictures of myself (I still feel weird about this - but it's fun to take them) and go to sleep on my air mattress.

Crochet skirt: Forever 21
Peach tee: from SoLa in Austin
Necklace: Little Rock boutique
Ring: Little Rock antique mall
Shoes: BGBG Girls

A Public Service Announcement

2010-07-19T14:13:00.000-05:00

I went tubing weekend before last on the Guadalupe river. One house had this long rope swing with a platform to jump off from and swing into the water. This guy pulled it off successfully, and then this poor girl got up to try with everyone cheering her on. Her hands slipped or something and she fell with a full face plant onto the ground and then sort of skidded into the water. Everyone was STUNNED. She was ok. I doubt her pride was, though.

So, moral of the story - don't drink and rope swing, kids.

Blue Giant & Regina reviews

2010-07-18T16:31:00.000-05:00

Read my review for Venus of Blue Giant's self titled debut here.

Read my review of Finland's Regina new album here.

Poison Japanese Jasmine

2010-07-16T08:00:00.001-05:00

Now that taking pictures of myself has become more of an undertaking - what with needing my tripod, two lenses, (one that only half works), my remote, the energy to run back and forth after a long work day, etc - I've noticed that while the original goal was "fashion" photography, I've become more concerned with simply staging a decent picture than with the elements of my outfit. While my lack of emphasis on unique clothing and accessory choices sort of kills the "fashion" element of it all, I do like that my focus is on learning how to play with light at different times of day, play with the focus, even utilizing the broken zoom on my wide angle lens, and try to pair backgrounds with clothes. Taking a daily "outfit" photo is too much work, but I like creating an editorial style photograph, and I hope to improve at it, as well as all aspects of picture taking.

In these photos, I truly suffered to create them. Those are morning glories growing on the fence, with a few springs of Japanese Jasmine interwoven between them in spots. I learned the hard way that leaning into the Japanese Jasmine vines makes my skin burn horribly, turn red, and prickle with hard bumps all over. Nothing calamine lotion didn't heal - forty-five minutes later. I sucked it up and finished shooting - tell me that's not being a trooper! After the first couple backwards shots I couldn't do anymore because the exposed part of my back had turned bright red, as had the backs of my arms, haha. If I ever wanted to pretend I was a super hero, the time has finally come - I've found my kryptonite! And it's a flower. Sigh.

Dress: Wal-Mart. I am fascinated, still, by the ability to buy clothes and groceries at the SAME TIME.
Shoes: Classified
Necklace: from Buffalo Exchange in Dallas

Eclipse Soundtrack Review

2010-07-15T00:47:00.000-05:00

I reviewed the Eclipse soundtrack for Venus, and you can read my thoughts on that here. My favorite songs were The Black Keys' "Chop and Change" and Fanfarlo's "Atlas." Since hearing Fanfarlo, I've fallen 100% in love with them, and they just released their new EP with "Atlas" on it.

Tomorrow we are taking 80 of our kids to see Eclipse at the Bob Bullock Museum and Imax theatre. Is this movie appropriate for middle school?? Trying to coordinate field trips every day has been nuts and I can't WAIT for my week of vacation!

I've decided that a song is like a wave pool. Or the water of a beach, you decide whether you're a naturalist or not. If a song is good, it will be like floating in, under, and on perfect waves - like the types of waves you can boogie board on. They spin you around, raise you up, bring you down at the right time, and leave your head still swimming like you're floating in water when it's over. To me, that's a good song. What does a good song do to you? Any bands you're in love with lately? - I'm always looking for good music advice.

Goal Oriented

2010-07-13T00:04:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite Austin blogs, Hipstercrite, written by Lauren, posted about five and ten year goals as revisited by someone past the ripe age of 25. This makes me hyperventilate a little. Here at the house-sitting house, where there is cable, I fall into the trap of watching HGTV. On these home buying shows, perfectly composed nearly-30's purchase townhouses for half a million dollars and look like they walked out of a Talbots catalog. I missed the instruction manual on how to be that perfect. I still dream about the perfect pair of boots to wear to a concert to not get my toes stepped on while still looking feminine. Not cardigans with rosettes.

At 26, I've had to do a lot of restructuring of my long term goals as I realize some of my initial goals, like, marrying a millionaire so I can be an agoraphobic eccentric novelist, are not going to pan out. How does a person make goals when they keep changing? With Lennon telling me all about his explorations of DC these past few days, it's had the effect of reminding me how much I would love, love, love to run the education program at a museum. Like, say, one of the fifty thousand Smithsonians up in DC, (and I'd love to live there again). If I could get to that position, and write for some (any!) publication, and have a closet full of pretty shoes, and a garden that actually produces a tomato, I'd like to think I'd feel accomplished in life.

But, if I ever should get engaged again, that could throw a wrench in things - having to accommodate a husband's career and what not. Sounds like a hassle! I really do want children, but I certainly see enough of them during the day, and when they start to get cranky I send them home, (like today! goodness kids get cranky when you ask them to clean things as a service project), and then I can go spend my take home pay on a new dress instead of baby things. I'm O.K. with this arrangement at present. That, and coming home to Bella.

Do you have a five or ten year plan?

Working Girl

2010-07-12T12:18:00.001-05:00

So in two weeks I start my new position at the Ann Richards School for Girls. The focus of the school is on developing female leaders, and I'll be doing less running around over a giant campus than I did at Reagan. This all means that I can dress more like my former-teacher-self. But, most of my three year old teacher items are getting a little threadbare, and some probably don't even fit anymore. I'm scared to try on my khaki pants.

My high heels have been in retirement for a long time and I'm eager to break them out again. I'm also interested in dressing "nicer" at this school, because I'm genuinely worried about what the principal is going to think when she sees my tattoos that were concealed beneath a cardigan at my interview. It wasn't an issue at Reagan at all, but at ARS, I'm nervous. I would like to counterbalance any negative associations they might have by looking like I run the Boys and Girls Club there, (wait, I do - and I love it).

About the Author Dress in Grey
$53 - modcloth.com
More dresses »

CAIRO
195 GBP - kurtgeiger.com
More Kurt Geiger shoes »

elsie satchel
325 GBP - toast.co.uk
More tote bags »

PLASTICLAND - Green Satin Rosette Flapper Headband
$22 - shopplasticland.com
More hair accessories »

These heels are too high to wear functionally for me, but I do like the color. And I'm in love with this dress, and will probably save my nickels to buy it in the next few weeks. I've had a pair of black patent Cole Haan pumps for years that are already whispering to me that they want to be worn with that dress.

Beach Picnic Dress in Afternoon
$100 - modcloth.com
More dresses »

I was in Target yesterday and found a dress really similar to this one for $40 as opposed to $100, but they were out of my size, and it wasn't nearly as "neat," it had a bunched elastic waist, and the thing I like about the Modcloth dress is how smooth and pressed it is. Plus I certainly wouldn't actually be getting Christian Louboutin shoes, but certainly any color would match.

Is it normal to be fantasizing about work-wear in the summer? Maybe it's because I've been wearing t-shirts and pedal pushers all summer while working with the teens at the community club - I'm essentially a camp counselor.

Any suggestions for shopping for affordable work clothes and shoes? I still don't want to run around in stilletos, but maybe I can give my flats and tennis shoes a rest.

House Sitting

2010-07-08T13:00:00.000-05:00

I am in love with this garden. When I get home from work I come out and water all the plants and pick things that are ripening. It was also necessary to share with the world how big Rufus's feet are. He makes Bella look dainty.

I made pesto with the basil leaves from the herb garden. I'm growing some basil in a pot on my balcony but it's still just a sprout. This is enough pesto to maybe last till it's full grown. Also, I really had to fight the urge to draw faces on those adorable baby tomatoes. I may yet lose.

Dollhouses

2010-07-07T23:16:00.000-05:00

For two weeks I have a big back yard to play in - that's something I don't get in an apartment. Tonight I used Swiss chard from the Keep Austin Beautiful gardent at LBJ High School to make bow-tie pasta with chard, garlic, olive oil, and sliced cherry tomatoes from this backyard garden. Tomorrow I'm going to make string beans that I picked from this vine right before taking these pictures. I got eaten up by mosquitoes while taking these, but it seems the trick is to not itch them initially and then they go away. I'm opposed to spraying bug repellent on myself if at all possible.

It appears that this summer I have taken on too many projects and extra work, and without time to do all of it, I end up in a state where I just want to scream and can't do anything. This is sad, because everything I'm supposed to be doing, I like. But I agreed to do too much, all on top of needing to writewritewrite articles to recoup all of my moving expenses. Being a grown-up is hard. Maybe that's why I like the doll house look of this workshop. I gave myself a "vacation" tonight to take pictures and cook, but really, not accomplishing anything just makes me more anxious, (well, not accomplishing anything extra - I did go to work all day). So, tomorrow will be a day of grinding paces (post-work - arg).

Dress: Blue Velvet Vintage in Austin
Pearls: my grandma's
No shoes: the Arkansas in me

Starlight Station

2010-07-06T11:26:00.000-05:00

For the next two weeks I'm playing momma to a basset hound along with my lab, Bella. He has the biggest feet I've ever seen, yet somehow he makes less noise than Bella does.

Today I start running the teen program at East Club, and I'm finished with Reagan for good - all except for cleaning out my office. But I don't have my new one at Ann Richards yet, so for now, everything can stay there because I don't want to bring it home and have it clutter my apartment. The fun thing about East Club is that it's going to be all field trip based, so I'm taking the kids everywhere from the Urban Roots farm to Barton Springs to Caritas (went there last week with Reagan kids - very awesome) to career day at Old Navy to touring the Austin Film Studios. Today is introductions day, though, and I hate those. They make me anxious. I'm going to post these pictures I like and try not to be anxious.

Dress: I can't remember the brand - but it's from the boutique Indigo in Little Rock. I love orange.
Cardigan: Gap
Shoes: BCBG Girls
Locket: my grandma's
Bracelet: my great grandma's
Railroad car: Starlight Station in Killeen (it was packed Sunday night when I drove by on my way home to Austin!)

so while I was on here, Lennon dropped my sunglasses (he was being sweet and holding them) and stepped on them. Then they looked like this:

and I also like to pretend I'm an airplane. Maybe I'll do that now to relieve my first day jitters.

The spring flowers are all gone now and I miss them terribly. But I'm watering a garden for the basset hound's mommy and daddy, and I get to eat all of the summer tomatoes and green beans out of it while they're gone - that may be better than flowers!

Matt Pond PA + Wintersleep

2010-07-05T08:00:00.044-05:00

I really like Wintersleep, and after seeing them play with Matt Pond PA, I like that band too. I wrote up this review for Venus Zine and took photos as well. You can read that here. Now go listen to "Mirror Matter," it's my favorite song!

Wintersleep:

Matt Pond PA:

It was the night of couples at the Mohawk. I took creepy-spy pictures (that were really cute) of couples cuddling, dancing, dipping, and just being everywhere. They are always everywhere when you're not one! Even HEB - I vote they designate a singles shopping day, sort of like senior citizens discount day.

Fireworks & Happy Fourth

2010-07-04T23:14:00.000-05:00

Happy fourth of July! I'm in Copperas Cove/Ft. Hood with my family, eating waaaay too many baked goods courtesy of my step-sister Courtney. I hope you all had a wonderful, relaxing day. Any good stories?

On soulmates:

2010-07-03T18:42:00.001-05:00

Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

"And please don't laugh at me now, but I think the reason it's so hard for me to get over this guy is because I seriously believed David was my soul mate."

"He probably was. Your problem is you don't understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is a perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful.

Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Your problem is, you just can't let this one go. It's over, Groceries. David's purpose was to shake you up, drive you out of that marriage that you needed to leave, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light could get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you had to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it. That was his job, and he did great, but now it's over. Problem is, you can't accept that this relationship had a real short shelf life. You're like a dog at a dump, baby - you're just lickin at an empty tin can, trying to get more nutrition out of it. And if you're not careful, that can's gonna get stuck on your snout forever and make your life miserable. So drop it."

"But I love him."

"So love him."

My Computer is in the Hospital

2010-06-27T11:38:00.000-05:00

Last night my computer contracted a nasty virus, so two scans and a few tears later, I took it the computer hospital that is the Best Buy Geek Squad. Hopefully my laptop, and all the photos I've been trying to make time to post, will be all well by Wednesday. Until then I'm on my work laptop, which of course doesn't have any of my image or writing documents on it. But, at least it's a nice backup to have.

Daniel Johnston at Mohawk

2010-06-24T17:35:00.000-05:00

Saturday night I was really lucky to get to go see Daniel Johnston perform at the Mohawk. I wish I knew more about him prior to seeing the show, other than that I think about him everytime I pass the sushi place on Guadalupe with his graffiti art on it, but my copy of The Devil and Daniel Johnston just came in from Netflix today.

The entire patio was packed and breathing in water from sweat and humidity, sort of like standing in a giant, soggy sponge. Good shows are always worth it, though. I've never liked being completely front row, so the new-used zoom lens I got has been really helpful and handy.

One Feature + One Review

2010-06-23T10:44:00.000-05:00

I got to interview country/blues/R&B singer Mary McBride for Venus Zine, and it was published last week. It was my first phone interview and I was really nervous and also paranoid my cell phone would die or cut out. After learning the hard way that New York time is not the same as Austin time, though, I got it sorted out. Read the article I wrote here.

Glen Hansard is still my favorite singing Irishman, but the Villagers were good and had the added benefit of sounding a little similar. Although the lyrics were all dark and creepy - I seem to keep getting the creepy albums. Wintersleep was dark, too, but every time I listen to their CD now I love it more and I saw them live Monday night - GREAT. Once those photos get posted on Venus I'll post the set here. Till then, you can read my Villagers album review, here!

Bike Theif Blues

2010-06-21T19:10:00.000-05:00

My list of things-to-save-up-for just got longer - my bike was stolen today! I knew I should have gotten a U-Lock, but they're expensive and I've used a chain lock for four years without issue, and the chain is so much easier to wrap around any random thing I find.

So, my beloved Trek mountain bike that I got as a graduation present from my master's program is gone. Thank goodness for renters insurance - for only $11 a month and four years of price inflation - I'm basically getting the original cost of the bike back after my deductible. I saw this Linus Mixte bike at The Peddler back when Lennon was buying his new bike, and have not-so-secretly wanted one ever since, so I've got my sights set on it. It's more than what insurance is giving me, so I'll hold off on it for a bit, but now I know what my next major purchase will be.

Until then, no more bike trips to HEB, the library, or joy rides around Hyde Park. Very big frown face. The jerk who stole it cut my chain off and left it on the ground beside the bike rack at my apartment. I hope it breaks on him or her. I feel like this is a huge induction into Austin - I'm a bike thief victim! That makes me a full fledged citizen.